The 2017 Spank Bank Nominations Are Here!

The nominations ceremony for the 7th Annual Spank Bank Awards proudly presented by IAFD.com was held on my recently completed deck and patio area in the suburbs of warm, sunny Nowhere Special, USA. Awards show host Missy Martinez was also on hand to divulge this year’s record setting list of nominees, followed by a juicy steak dinner, a raucous game of ‘Would You Rather’ and a couple of rounds of ‘Call Of Duty: Infinite Warfare’. Casey Calvert again added to her total as the career record holder in Spank Bank nominations with 19, tied for top honors this year with Adriana Chechik and AJ Applegate. Abella Danger, Dahlia Sky, Jillian Janson, Maddy O’Reilly, Veruca James, and Violet Monroe all tied with the next highest total with 17 nominations each.

The Spank Bank Awards were founded on the ideal of giving recognition to the performers in the adult industry who may (or may not) receive the accolades they deserve from some other awards shows. This year’s collection of perverted honors features a record number of major categories, including awards for Website, Production Studio, and Director of the Year along with Dick of the Year for the male performers. And as always, there is an abundance of ‘technical’ awards (to be given out at a separate ceremony later this month) giving kudos on a variety of subjects.

The titles of ‘Sexiest Woman Alive’, ‘Dirty Little Slut of the Year’, and the highly coveted ‘Most Spanked To Girl of the Year’ – aka the unholy trinity of filthy awards excellence – were once again an all out war for slutty supremacy. Whether they win or not, every single nominee should be commended for not only their contribution to porn, but for their generous donations to the welfare of mankind in general. Especially to the dirty minded perverts among us. So, without further ado, the nominations for this year’s Spank Bank Awards:

* Spank Bank Awards are voted on by a panel of porn critics (me), noted adult film connoisseurs (me), outside adult industry media insiders (me), x-rated film fans (me), and a committee chairman (also me). Nominees who entice or influence the panel with any form of ‘sweet talking’, ‘sexual innuendo’, ‘buttering up’, or outright eluding to sexual favors greatly increase their chances of winning.

Airtight Angel of the Year

America’s Porn Sweetheart

Asshole of the Year

ATM Machine

Bad Ass Brunette of the Year

Baroness of Licking Lady Ass

BBC Slut of the Year

Best All Around Porn Goddess

Best Body Built For Sin

Best Booty

Best ‘Come Fuck Me’ Eyes

Best DSL (Dick Sucking Lips)

Best ‘Just Got Fucked’ Hair

Best Legs

Best ‘O’ Face

Best ‘Resting Bitch’ Face

Best Smile

Best Spitter

Best Swallower

Bionic Butthole

Blonde Babe of the Year

Bondage Artiste of the Year

Boobalicious Babe of the Year

Born To Hand Job

Cocksucker of the Year

Contessa of Cum

Countess of Contortionism

Creampied Cutie of the Year

Cuckold Connoisseur of the Year

Cumback of the Year

Customs Specialist of the Year

Deepest Throat

Dick of the Year

Dirty Little Slut of the Year

DP Dynamo of the Year

Empress of Nipple Paradise

Excellence in ‘Lawn’ Maintenance (aka Best Groomed Bush)

Excellence in the Creation of Smut (aka Director of the Year)

Facial Cum Target of the Year

Fetish Virtuoso of the Year

Fucking Nerd of the Year

Fun Sized Fuck Toy

Gangbanged Girl of the Year

Gloryhole Guru of the Year

Hardest Working Ho in Ho Biz

Imported Enchantress of the Year

Instagram Girl of the Year

Life Sized Human Hand Puppet (aka Best Fistee)

Masturbator of the Year

Mattress Actress of the Year

Most Adorable Slut

Most Awe Inspiring Gape

Most Beautiful Seductress

Most Comprehensive Utilization of All Orifices

Most Energetic Fuck Bunny

Most Fuckable Feet

Most Luscious Labia

Most Magnificent MILF

Most Photogenic Nymphomaniac

Most Spanked To Girl of the Year

Most Talented Tongue (Best Girl/Girl Kisser of the Year)

Most Underrated Slut

Most Volumptous Vixen

My (Wet) Dream Girl

Natural Born Cock Killer

Newcummer of the Year

PAWG of the Year

Porn’s Next Superstar

Prettiest Girl In Porn

Prettiest Whore Mouth

Pretty In Pink (aka Prettiest Pussy)

Production Studio of the Year

Puppeteer of the Year (aka Best Hands/Fister)

Pussy of the Year

Queen of Cunnilingus (Girl/Girl Star of the Year)

Ravishing Redhead of the Year

Red Bottomed Babe of the Year

Servile Sub of the Year

Sexiest Woman Alive

Sharing Is Caring (Cumswapping Cutie of the Year)

Smooth As Silk (aka Best Bald Beaver)

Snapchat Sweetheart of the Year

Sovereign Dom of the Year

Super Squirter of the Year

Supreme Majesty of the Stripper Pole

Tattooed Temptress of the Year

The Dirtiest Player in the Game

The Girl Next Door…. Only Better

The Total Package

Tightest Twat

Tortured Fuck Doll of the Year

Tweeting Twat of the Year

Two Hot Dogs in a Hallway

Webcam / Skype Show Girl of the Year

Website of the Year